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Did you miss the first two episodes of "Hatfields & McCoys"? 2020 Dragon Con Pocket Program by Dragon Con. Picking up several months after the Season 1 finale, Emily Thorne renews her quest for revenge against those who setup up and betrayed her father, and comes to. Revenge Season 3 Finale Review: A Dish Best Served Cold Because It Took So Long to Get Here.
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Ranking The TDROTI Characters Day 10
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4th Lightning:So we come to the end of this(total unplanned) villain trifecta, with ironically the one who was the least villainous, but then again he didn’t need to be. See every season needs its central comic relief, and for Revenge no other character better fills that role. And While Lightning may not be the funniest character in the series(that title will forever be held by TDA Harold) he does come in very close second, but enough build up lets sha-get to it.
Lightning fills a stereotype so popular and widespread that I’m amazed it wasn’t done in Gen 1, that being the dumb jock stereotype. Now I know what you’re thinking, Tyler filled the dumb jock role, well you do have a point, but Tyler was a jock in name only because he sucked at sports, Lightning fits that glove a whole lot nicer than he does. See Lightning may just be the most physically gifted competitor in TD history, he’s tough, fast, and strong, and agile, the only problem is while he may be maxed out in the strength category he has none of the brains to go with it(Kinda like Thor, who ironically is lightning themed). He is put on the Toxic Rats where he tries his damndest to sha-win for his team, but he is dragged down by a combination of weak team members and Scott’s sabotaging. He goes along for most of the season serving as the main comic relief, with his lack of intelligence and various sha-catchphrases leading to a lot of good humor and having his fair share of slapstick moments. The only things he has plot wise are his main rivalries with both Jo and then Cameron. With Jo he spends most of the season trying to outdo her in competition while simultaneously thinking she’s a girl, they do ally up once they are the final two members of the Rats, but Jo betrays him in Grand Chef Auto. He then manages to get her back in Up Up and Away in My Pitiful Balloon when he teams with Cameron to eliminate her. But the very next episode things change for Lightning, after ditching Cameron during the challenge for slowing him down the bubble boy manages to steal victory from him. This pushes Lightning into becoming the last minute villain of the season as he vows revenge on Cameron for taking what was his(or technically Zoey’s until she decided to cripple Scott instead), this leads to them facing off in the finale in the ultimate Brains V Brawn battle, which regardless ends for fittingly given his name, with Lightning getting struck by lightning(Which apparently turns your hair white?).
You know as I was writing this something occurred to me(one could say it hit me like a bolt of….something) about Lightning, people compare him to Tyler, when in actuality Lightning is the Gen 2 equivalent to TDI Owen. Now hear me out on this, yes as characters they are extremely different, but in terms of the path they take during the season and the role they play in it, it's almost identical. Like Owen Lightning doesn’t really have an arc, sure he has some rivalries here and there, and there is the last minute thing of his Dad betting his championship rings but he doesn’t really have much of a main plotline during the season, but the thing is just like Owen Lightning doesn’t need an arc. Like Owen he is the main comic relief of the season providing a good chunk of the humor and mostly being there for his comedic potential. Just like Owen he makes it all the way to the end without any real strategy(although he is more focused on the competition than Owen is), and telling without really winning challenges. Seriously he wins a total of three challenges(Two while on a team and one individual), for the two team ones he is taken out rather early during the first win and doesn’t contribute to the win(It was mostly Sam), and for the second he gets mauled by an mutant gator and Jo wins it for them, he only manages to get one individual win after Zoey essentially hands him victory to save Cameron. And in spite of this just like Owen he makes it the finale with the season’s protagonist .Now why do I bring all of this up? Well one because I think the connection between them is interesting, and two because I like Lightning for the same reason I liked Owen back in TDI, because he’s god damn hilarious.
Lightning is easily one of the series best purley comedic characters sitting just behind TDA Harold, he just never fails to get a laugh out of me, and managing to get consistent laughs is something not many characters can do. From his various uses for the word sha, to showing the depths of just how stupid he is(serious he may just be the dumbest character in the series) to of course his great back and forths with the other characters(particularly Jo). But why explain it when I can just give a list of all my favorite Lightning moments and quotes:
Given his lack of plot he doesn’t really have all that much in terms of interactions, well outside of his rivalries with Jo and Cameron. Now I’ve already discussed the positives with both of these so I’ll keep it brief here, but his interactions with Jo are some of my favorites of the season, all building up to him finally realizing she’s a girl(which is one of my favorite moments in the season). As for Cameron it is really cool having finalists who contrast each other as well as Lightning and Cameron do, it furthers Cameron's story while also giving Lightning actual plot relevance, so it is a win-win for both characters.
Lightning really is a character I just can’t bring myself to dislike, even when he’s being a jerk I still can’t stop liking him, mostly because every second he’s on screen he either does or says something funny. He may not have an actual arc, but he doesn’t need one, he shows his worth as a character by simply being fun to watch, whether he’s a bumbling idiot, an arrogant show-off, or a jerk jock bully, he fits every role like a glove. So essential Sha-Lightning is sha-great, and if you don’t sha-think the sha-same then you need to get your sha-head checked.
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The Other Way Book Report, Episode 20
Ariela & Baby Daddy Baby: It's the morning after last week's fight, where Biniyam left for a night of booty shakin' while Ariela's parents were in town. Grown Baby was seen hastily trying to re-dread his hair, possibly in an attempt to get Ariela to like him again and stop yelling at him. She admits that they have been fighting a lot lately, but agreed to put their issues aside so they could spend time with the Positive Gangster-inlaws. The couple took the parents Ariela out to experience Ethiopia. Dr. Weinberg realized he wasn't in Princeton anymore while driving around and seeing all of the cultural differences. Ariela and both Babies took her parents on a tour of a market, which wouldn't be complete without some kind of animal sacrifice. Biniyam wanted to show a nice gesture and buy dinner for everyone, though his version of “takeout” was picking out which chicken the man on the street at the chicken table should kill in front of them. The slaughter was stopped, as it appears that the positive gangster has her limitations, and Baby was left with egg on his face (at least the egg came first, before the chicken...murder). Ariela admitted that her days as an Ethopian tourist were way cooler than her days as an Ethopian resident, but she seems to want to work things out despite the difficulties, since she now is a bigshot with a toilet seat and everything. The following day, it was time for Ariela's parents to see their home sweet home. Dr & Mrs Weinberg were quiet at first, taking in the modest dwelling. They expressed concerns that the apartment was too small for a family of three, and would like to extend some financial assistance, once they knew more about Daddy Baby's income. Biniyam explained that his earnings fluctuate, based on the attendance at Chippendale's Ethiopia, and some months are better than others. He also only freelances singing in nightclubs, as "dancey cool" seems to be a one hit wonder. It’s pretty clear that the Family Ariela are not seeing how this will work long term, though they do seem to like Biniyam and feel he is talented. Before their trip came to an end, the family Ariela met up with the sisters Biniyam to discuss how things are going. Ariela brings up being unhappy that she’s mostly alone while Baby is working, and doesn’t have a great support system. Biniyam’s sisters didn’t hold back in telling the Positive Gangster that her daughter has been less than positive, to say the least. They tattletaled that Ariela yells a lot, gets very bossy, and wants everything her way. Although Ariela’s mom admitted that her daughter tends to fly off the handle quite easily, she also realizes the intensity of her new living situation, and encourages the sisters Biniyam to step it up in the friendship department. The sisters also brought up the topic of the baby-baby’s baptism, which was news to Ariela’s parents, who were expecting Avi to be raised Jewish. Ariela tried to explain that she was trying to think about this religious event as a “silly little bath”, while her parents reminded her that this was a bigger issue. The family Biniyam accused Ari of acting “just like his ex”, which seemed to be a big blow, and caused the fight to escalate. Hopefully the positive gangster can extend her ticket….
Deavan & Jihoon: Back in Korea, Deavan is on Skype with her parents discussing their upcoming trip. She wanted to make sure her mom had forgiven Jihoon for everything being his fault, but it seems as though she’s still not 100% #TeamJihoon. Jihoon explains that he is suffering from “EP” syndrome (Elicia Phobia), as he mentally prepares to see his intimidating mother in law again. Next we see the couple (with his parents in tow) all heading to the airport to retrieve Deavan's family who flew into Korea for the couples' one hour wedding. Drascilla was so thrilled to see her family, that she ran to them crying, wrapping her arms around her grandpa with no intention of letting go. Jihoon started to feel slightly incontinent around Elicia, as their last encounter didn’t end well (sounds like he’s going to need the bidet). Looks like next week is the big wedding, which is one hour shorter than an episode of this show. In theory, they could have the wedding, and watch the filmed version in the same amount of time as one regular episode (though there will be 3,000 commercials and previews for the upcoming 5 minutes).
Yazan & The Brittany: Brittany and her friend Angela are still getting tipsy on their girls' trip to Jordan, now waiting for Yazan to pick them up outside. Brittany did "the robot" on the sidewalk while they waited which was somehow the least weird part of this segment.... Yazan flatly greeted the girls, seeming equally as excited as any other Uber driver picking up drunk people would be. He wanted to show Brittany what he has been up to since she was last there, so he drove them to the barbershop where he works, after hours (It’s unclear if he owns it or just works there and has a key). Brittany seemed impressed that Yazan had moved out and started a new life out of the clutches of his family, and thought it was a step in the right direction for the success of their ridiculous relationship. Brittany then decides it's a fun tipsy idea to attempt to cut Yazan's hair, draping the barber cape over his shirt, and eventually snipping a strand to the floor. It was a strange but somewhat successful segway into talking about the state of their relationship. Yazan claimed that he no longer cares if Brittany converts to Islam, and is totally cool with waiting on the whole marriage thing. Although she seems happy that he is telling her everything she wants to hear, she feels that he will change his tune as soon as he's around his family (which, he has yet to tell her about his dad's plan to become his own personal Michael Meyers...) The morning after the awkward haircut, Angela and Brittany were talking in their hotel room, discussing Angela’s first impressions. She felt Yazan was calm and respectful and he didn’t even scream “hullah!”, contradicting Brittany’s portrayal of him. Brittany agreed to meet up with him to check out his new apartment and discuss their relationship status. Brittany arrived in her 90s trench coat that she borrowed from David (of David & Lana), and joined Yazan in the apartment for the tour, which started out in the “chicken” (Ok, maybe he meant to say kitchen, and that was cute and all, but it made me think of Biniyam and the doomed chicken at the market..…moment of silence). The bathroom was luxurious by Ethiopian standards, as it came with a toilet seat and was a lovely shade of blue. After the impressive apartment tour, Yazan sat down to explain the difficulties he has faced with his family and his desire to still be with The Brittany, despite it all. Brittany has no idea what he’s talking about, and doesn’t want to stay with him at the apartment because he doesn’t have a bath mat and the floor is wet. Ultimately, after wasting a lot of time not understanding each other, they agreed to speak with a translator next week. (I was thinking of slipping him a $20 to just yell “Haram!” and run away)
Cheesestick & Malaria: Cheesestick and Mamaqueso are having a little alone time to discuss his cheating scandal again, as we get to listen to him show off his Espanol skills by ordering "cafe con leche" all by himself like a big boy (are you listening, Kenny??!). Momzerella tells her son that in order for his relationship to succeed, they both need to forgive and move forward, and maybe just break up because this is so dumb....... Oh wait, I said that. Cheesestick breaks the news to his mom that Melyza revenge-diddled some guys while they were on their brief hiatus, and he's not sure that she is dedicated to their tragic relationship. Tim realizes that the couple is in no way ready for marriage, though his tourist visa expiration date is quickly approaching, and he’s trying to figure out what to do for work . He fears he may be forced to move back if he can't find a job soon, and worries the distance will put an even bigger strain on the relationship (On the brightside, he will have a long flight back to the US with the opportunity to go to each passenger individually no the plane, confessing his cheating ways). Mama McCheesertons asks if he is sure this is what he really wants, causing the two to break down crying, as Tim admitted he was unsure and scared at the moment. I think this whole relationship sounds no-Gouda. Next we see the snooze-worthy couple go to counseling in COElumbeeyuh to discuss their crappy relationship with someone new (at least the therapist is getting PAID to listen to this!). Tim opens up the conversation by talking about his favorite topic- his unfaithful cheese dip, as Melyza sits there, clinging onto his arm with her resting bitch face in full effect. Tim expresses that he is contemplating going back to the states for financial reasons since his visa will soon expire. Melyza of course is now even more annoyed, and her dead eyed stare intensified. I’m going to leave the rest of this story’s narration to the woman who narrates “Snapped”.
Karmando: Well Karmando returns to the big screen, and waddayaknow?? They're in the car!! Shocking. This time little Hannah is tagging along in the back, as she accompanies her dads back to the marriage license office to fight....for their right...to (have a gay wedding) paaaaaarty. During the car ride, Armando explained to Hannah that the dos papas were not allowed to marry, and she totally dissed the marriage license department, calling them"mean and ugly ticksters". Kenny's hair was extra "Johnny Bravo" to impress the staff, as they walked in with Hannah to pick up their paperwork. Officially the couple was denied, siting the reason that same sex marriage doesn't "save the human race" since they can’t technically procreate, but don't worry, Mexico! Deavan and Jihoon are holding it down in that department and doing a great job! The next step is to pursue the human rights department to overturn the decision. Hopefully they’ll be picking out fabulous table linens and centerpieces soon!